Don't Want to Let You Down, but I am Hell-Bound
by Vita Fidens
Summary: Sequel to "All I Want is Something Better, Something Safe." Liz Moore and Dean Ambrose have agreed to give a "normal" relationship a try. They manage to succeed for a while, but something happens that could finally tear the two of them apart for good.
1. Chapter 1

"Seriously guys? No 'This is a terrible idea Liz, save yourself and run while you can'?" I paused with a coffee cup halfway to my lips, staring across the table at Seth and Roman.

I'd just finished regaling them with the long tale of Heyman and Ambrose at a coffee shop in Stamford, where they were performing this evening.

Seth and Ro looked at each other, and Ro finally shrugged. "We figured it was going to happen, Liz. Dean's persistent and you seem to have a thing for him."

"Not that we agree with it," Seth said dryly. He, indeed, did not look amused. "But we know that we can't do anything to stop it. It's like trying to stop a freight train by sticking your leg out in front of it."

"Oddly enough, I know that feeling," I replied, finally taking my sip of coffee.

"When are you coming back?" Seth asked, obviously eager to change the subject.

"In a few weeks. I still have four weeks of paid leave, and I want to make Paul sweat just a little bit more."

Ro shook his head. "Evil woman," he teased.

"For six weeks of vacation? Yes. I'd punch my own grandmother."

"Ouch! That's cold, baby girl."

We were all quiet for a few minutes, enjoying our coffee. It was an early morning for all of us.

"What am I walking back in to?" I asked. "Anything happen that I need to know about?"

With that, we moved on to gossiping about backstage politics and antics. I could see that Seth was still brooding, though, and that made me very nervous. Roman seemed resigned to the inevitable, but Seth was taking this news about Dean very hard.

I couldn't say that I blamed him or that I didn't understand why he was upset. I just wished that he wasn't.

As they went to leave, with a promise to get together after the show tonight, I pulled Seth aside.

"Everything ok?" I asked, dreading the answer.

He shook his head, looking sad. "Liz, I'm worried," he said frankly. "Roman won't say it, but he is too. The only person who isn't worried is you."

He reached out and lightly touched my shoulder. "Think of all of the things he's done to you. Do you think it's going to be better if you try dating him and it doesn't work out?"

"No," I admitted. "I just don't know what else to try. I can't stop myself around him, Seth. I don't understand it; I don't like it. I just know that things weren't working before. Maybe this will."

"We've had this conversation once before," he reminded me, trying to keep his tone light although there was a darkness behind his eyes. "It didn't work out any better."

I nodded. "I know."

Silence fell between us until he broke it by sighing. "It's like watching a car wreck. It's exactly like those few minutes before the crash, when you know it's going to happen and you're going to be surrounded by twisted metal and blood and death. You can see it coming, but you can't do anything except watch helplessly. That's how I feel right now. I'm watching one of my best friends in this world march happily off to her destruction."

I opened my mouth to reply, but he was on a roll. "Don't bother telling me you'll be fine. I know you won't be. I know Dean, and I know you. I've seen this episode before Liz, and it doesn't have a happy ending."

My mouth snapped shut. I didn't know what I could possibly say to reassure him. He clapped me on the back, probably a bit harder than he intended. "See you tonight," he said, walking away.

"Yeah, see you." I could hear the hurt and worry in my own voice.

I'd known it wouldn't go over well. Really, how could it? Everything Seth had said was right, and I was nuts for even wanting to try. But a part of me still knew that it was something I had to do.

I just hoped it didn't mean losing my friends in the process.


	2. Chapter 2

I was nervous about seeing Seth and Roman again that night after my discussion with Seth that morning. I shouldn't have been. Our evening was shockingly normal…until Dean walked into the bar we happened to inhabit.

Seth's face immediately became stony, hard lines set in anger. He glanced at me, but I was just as surprised as he was. I glanced at Ro, who looked away guiltily. Seth shook his head, his jaw set.

"You had to tell him," he said flatly to Ro.

"He was going to find out anyway."

Seth got up and slammed his chair into the table, walking up to the bar. Dean watched him with interest from across the room before his eyes slid to me. We watched each other for a few moments, my heart in my throat, before I cautiously raised a hand in greeting.

His lips twitched, and he briefly raised his hand as well.

I turned back to Ro. "How long do you think Seth is going to be angry?"

He shrugged. "For as long as you and Dean are involved. He's very…protective of you. He was hoping you'd finally put your head on straight. This came out of left field and it hit him hard."

I sighed. "Am I stupid, Ro?" I asked, starting to rub away the headache blooming behind my eyes.

"You might be," he said slowly. "Then again, you might not be. You're not going to have an answer until you try. I know why you're doing this. Do I like it? Hell no. Am I going to stop you? I don't think that anything short of God himself could stop you. So I'm just going to do what I do best – be your friend."

I managed a small smile before I reached over and lightly rested my hand on his elbow. "Thank you. Any way you can talk sense into him?"

Ro laughed. "You've known Seth for a few years now. He's laid-back, but when he gets his anger on…" he shook his head. "You'll just have to ride this one out."

"That's what I'm afraid of," I replied, patting his arm.

He covered his hand with mine. "You'll be all right."

I glanced up and could see Dean staring at the two of us, his head tilted and his eyebrow raised. He made a show of glancing at mine and Roman's hands before looking back into my face curiously. I shot him an exasperated look in return before looking away and attempting to ignore him.

I wanted to speak with him, but right now was neither the time nor the place. Not with Seth in the mood he was in.

Seth came back after a few minutes with a fresh round of beers, seeming a bit more composed.

We slowly eased into our usual conversational flow, but I became acutely aware of Dean circling the room, coming ever closer to us. Judging by the way Seth's fists clenched, I could tell that he noticed as well.

Finally, as Ro was finishing his beer and getting ready to go up for another round, Dean joined us at our table. He chatted easily with everyone for a few minutes before offering to buy our drinks. Ro and I accepted, but Seth just glared at him angrily.

"Where's Becky tonight?" He asked snidely as Dean came back with our beers.

Dean's eyebrows crawled up his forehead. "We're not together anymore," he replied casually, glancing over at me.

I looked away for a moment, my heart picking up its pace. He'd dumped her? It was a step that, even with everything we'd gone through, he'd never taken.

It hit me in that moment how serious he was about this, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it.

Dean sat down and Seth immediately stood up. Without saying a word, he walked away. Ro and I shared a look, and he got up as well.

"Just give me a minute," he murmured, lightly putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Sure," I replied, trying to smile and finding it difficult to pull off.

He walked away, leaving Dean and I alone for the first time in months.


	3. Chapter 3

He merely stared at me for a few minutes, his eyes wandering over all the visible parts of me. I sat completely still while he looked, unsure how to proceed.

His eyes finally met mine, an unreadable expression in them.

"Something I need to know about you and Seth?"

I visibly blanched. "What? Are you kidding?"

He shrugged one shoulder. "He seems awfully upset by my presence. He's not like that when you're not around."

"Leigh?" I reminded him.

"Becky?" He countered. "You don't necessarily have a great track record with guys with girlfriends."

I could feel my jaw starting to clench tightly. Not even five minutes, and he already had me unfathomably angry. "Different situation and you know it." I took a deep drink out of my glass, another entirely too familiar process around him.

Dean slid into the seat next to me, the one that Roman had vacated. He very lightly rested his hand on my thigh. "I'm sorry," he surprised me by saying.

I looked over at him, trying to gauge his sincerity. He did look at least a bit abashed, and I tried to calm down.

"It's good to see you," he said cautiously, reaching out and tucking a few errant strands of hair behind my ear. "I've missed you." His fingers trailed over my neck and shoulder, and I shot him a warning look. His lips curled upwards. "Seems like you've missed me, too."

"Don't flatter yourself."

His brow furrowed. "What was that about being nice, Elizabeth?" He asked, gaining an edge to his voice as he gripped my thigh tightly.

"Stop," I said, pulling away from him.

He sighed, obviously unamused. "We're not going to be able to do this."

"Yes we are," I replied, determined. "We're just still in the habit of interacting that way. We need to make some adjustments. We'll get there."

We were interrupted by Seth and Roman coming back. Seth looked even angrier, and Ro seemed annoyed.

Seth grabbed his coat. "Good seeing you Liz. Behave yourself."

I opened my mouth to ask what was going on, but he walked away before I could respond. Ro took Seth's seat, shaking his head.

"I tried."

"Don't worry. It'll be all right," I said, not entirely convinced of that fact myself.

Dean's hand slid away from my thigh. "There's only one solution. We need to drink more." He waved the waitress over and ordered the first of many shots of hard liquor that would come that night.

After several rounds, we were all feeling no pain. We caught a cab back to the hotel where the guys were staying and made our way to the bar there. Ro only stayed for one more drink before stumbling off to find Kaitlyn, who I knew would be just thrilled to see him so inebriated.

Dean had been quietly watching Ro and I for most of the night, and once Ro left silence descended on us.

He was studying me with a thoughtful expression on his face. I raised my eyebrow, shaking my head with an unspoken question.

"Do I need to have a conversation with Seth?" He finally asked.

"No," I replied immediately. "Let it go. Please."

"What's his problem?"

I sighed. "He's just very protective of me. He's worried about what will happen between us and the kind of lasting impact it'll have on everyone."

Dean stared at me again for a few moments, his tongue running over his teeth within his mouth. "Are you worried about all that?"

I laughed. "Of course. Aren't you?"

He shook his head. "No. I only care about being with you. The rest of the world can go fuck itself as long as you're mine. And Seth had better watch his step, or I'll start with him."

"Please don't. He's just being a good friend to me."

He stared at me for a few minutes, brooding. "All right," he finally said, obviously not entirely pleased with this concession. "But just so you know, _you_ are the only reason I'm not knocking his teeth down his throat. That had better earn me some points."

"Hundred points to Dean Ambrose for self-restraint," I said dryly, taking another drink.

"Two hundred," he countered gruffly, a small smile on his lips.

"One twenty-five."

"One twenty-five and I get to make out with you tonight."

"One fifty and a kiss on the cheek. Best I can do."

He pursed his lips, trying to hide his amusement. "I'll take what I can get, I suppose. You drive a hard bargain." He turned his cheek towards me, and I leaned forward to place a light kiss on his cheek. He turned his head quickly and managed to just catch my lips before I backed away, annoyed.

He noted my irritation and leaned towards me. "Did you think my being nice meant that I wouldn't at least try?" He laughed. "I'll never be able to just be your friend, Lizzy. Don't get it twisted, sweetheart – I still want you just as badly as I ever have."

I closed my eyes, feeling tired. "Duly noted."

He seemed to feel the change in my mood. "We can talk about it later," he said with an odd note of compassion in his voice, his hand covering my forearm. "Let's just…hang out? I guess? I don't know; what do nice, normal people do?"

I couldn't help myself. I had to laugh at him. Those were words that would only come out of the mouth of Dean Ambrose.


	4. Chapter 4

We spent about another hour together in the bar.

Astonishingly enough, we actually had quite a bit to say to one another – and, for a change, it wasn't about our fucked-up past or current relationship. I was taking that as a victory.

Finally, our conversation wound down.

"I should get a cab," I said, glancing at my cell phone and noting the time – 3:28. Yikes.

He paused with his beer halfway to his mouth. "Why? Isn't your car parked here?"

I shot him a look. "I'm not going to drive home, dumbass."

He shook his head. "No. But it doesn't make sense for you to get a cab home and get one back here in the morning. Just stay." He surprised me by covering my hand with his. "My room's right upstairs."

I swallowed hard. "That's probably not a great idea."

The right side of his lip curled up. "Lizzy, I am in no state to try anything with you. Too drunk. Just…sleep next to me." He reached over and ran his fingers down my cheek. "I haven't slept well in months. I just want you to be there tonight."

I opened my mouth to protest, and immediately snapped it shut. I was considering it.

This was the ultimate goal, wasn't it? To see if we could get along so that we could be together? He was single, I was single, and sex wouldn't happen tonight. I believed him when he said that he was too drunk.

I turned my head to look at him. "All right," I finally said. "Thanks."

"Seriously?"

I nodded. He immediately chugged the rest of his beer and stood up, swaying a little bit before steadying himself on the table. He offered me his hand. "Come on."

With a little bit of fear blooming in my chest, I took it.

He led me to the bank of elevators in the lobby and we rode up to the sixth floor in relative silence together. His room was at the end of the long hallway stretching before us, and we both stumbled a bit on our way there.

It took him three tries to get the key to work, but then we were in. The room was dominated by one bed and a massive television.

I heard him turn the bolt lock and also click the modified chain lock into place. I should have been nervous, but I wasn't. I sat on the bed, yawning, as I slid out of my shoes.

Dean was suddenly beside my ear. "Do you want to sleep in one of my shirts?" He asked, lightly playing with the blouse I was wearing. "Or do you want to sleep naked?"

I rolled my eyes. "Shirt, please."

He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back onto his chest before bending down and kissing me roughly. I kissed him back, bringing my hands up from this odd, awkward position to wrap around his neck.

"Are you sure?" He murmured, pulling away from me slightly. His hands started working at the buttons on my shirt, his fingers fumbling in a mix of alcohol and desire.

"Stop," I said, pulling my hands away from him and attempting to gently dislodge his as they passed my navel. "Get me a shirt."

"You need to take this one off first," he replied smartly, bringing his hands back to pop the last few buttons before sliding it off my shoulders. "And I know you hate sleeping in a bra," he murmured, his lips finding my neck while he unhooked the band and pushed my bra off of me.

His hands were immediately cradling my breasts, his mouth moving up to my earlobe. He ran his tongue around the outside of my ear, causing me to shiver and my skin break out in goose bumps, before his teeth lightly tugged on the lobe.

He laughed breathily in my ear, his fingers toying with my now-hard nipples.

"I thought you weren't going to try anything with me?" I asked, turning my head slightly towards him.

"I'm just helping you get undressed. You are pretty drunk, after all," he replied, one hand sliding down to pop the button on my jeans.

"Dean," I said warningly.

He started kissing my neck. "I just can't help myself around you, Lizzy. It's been too long. Don't you want me? At least a little bit?"

I pulled away from him, noting the flash of anger in his eyes.

"Yes," I admitted. "Yes, I do want you – and more than just a little bit. But I don't want to fall into the same old pattern with you. I want to see if there could be something real between us, and not just sex."

He stared at me for a few minutes, obviously biting his tongue.

"Fine," he said. "It probably wouldn't be great anyway – I really have had too much to drink." He slowly made his way off the bed and went to his suitcase, pulling out one of his t-shirts and tossing it to me.

"Thanks," I said, quickly throwing it on and standing a bit unsteadily to pull my jeans off. Dean watched me intently, pausing only to pull off his own jeans and shirt.

He surprised me by coming back once he was undressed down to his boxers and pushing me down on the bed, climbing on top of me.

"No sex," he said, cutting off my protest. "But I'm not done with you yet."


	5. Chapter 5

He kissed me intensely, his hands wandering over my entire body.

My brain started screaming at me to stop, but my mouth was too occupied to utter the words. Dean pulled me even closer to him, and I forgot my reasons for saying no.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, my hands tangled in his mess of hair. He moaned quietly in my mouth.

"Be careful," he said softly. "Or I won't be able to keep my word."

But as I went to put my legs back down, he grabbed them and held them tightly around his waist, pressing his mouth hard against mine.

"It's almost like you don't want to keep your word," I gasped as he finally pulled away.

He gave me a small smile. "What a thing to suggest. Honestly."

He pulled the shirt I was wearing up over my breasts and bent to begin sucking on my nipples. My hips pushed towards him all of their own volition, and he pinned my wrists to the bed before increasing the pressure of his mouth.

"Dean," I moaned his name softly. "Please."

He surprised me by stopping suddenly and flopping down on the bed beside me. He looked agitated, and I found myself slightly afraid.

"Probably the first time I've ever had you wanting me badly and feeling at least somewhat fond of me, and I actually can't." He shook his head, and I found myself confused.

"What are you talking about?"

He sighed, grabbing my hand and putting it to his crotch. He was only mildly hard. "Too much to drink," he repeated, rubbing his hand over his eyes. "Nothing's going to work for that except time."

I actually found myself relieved and disappointed at the same time. Even in my drunken state, I knew that it was probably for the best – but he was right; I wanted him quite badly by this point.

"It's all right," I replied, moving my hand up to wrap around his waist instead. I slid closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder. After a minute, he wrapped his arm around me and began gently stroking up and down my back.

"I can still make you come, if you want," he said, kissing my forehead.

I was surprised when I refused. I absolutely wanted to, but I wanted to come with him inside of me. I knew that anything less, while it would take care of my physical lust, would do little to quell that particular desire.

"So what do you want to do?" He asked. "Four-thirty in the morning – what do nice, normal, horrifically drunk people do?"

"Watch terrible infomercials and laugh at them," I replied immediately. I wasn't sure if that was exactly the norm, but it sounded like a good time to me.

"Your wish, my command," he replied, reaching over me for the remote. We settled on the newest miracle in cooking technology and slid under the blankets.

I stayed wrapped up in Dean's arms, comfortable. He was gently running his hand over my back and shoulder, occasionally kissing me on the forehead.

It felt normal and safe, and perhaps the most troublesome part – it felt right.

I slipped into sleep without any fear or worry.


	6. Chapter 6

I woke up still wrapped in his arms, his half-lidded eyes studying me with sleepy interest.

"Good morning," I yawned, stretching.

"Hey," he replied, leaning forward to kiss me. I kissed him back cautiously, my head pounding. "How did you sleep?"

"Pretty good. How about you?"

He nuzzled my neck with his nose. "Best I have in a long time." His lips started wandering over my neck and collarbone, and I sighed happily. But as he started to continue down, I stopped him.

"Dean," I said gently. "We really should wait."

He paused and glanced up at me. "Liz, I can understand that you want us to have as normal of a relationship as possible. But baby, we're not normal. Nothing about us separately or together is normal. Why don't we throw out what we should do and do what feels right for us?" He moved up to lightly press his lips to mine. "And no, this isn't just about getting into your pants. We know each other by now – why are we trying to pretend that we don't?"

I opened my mouth to tell him why, and found that I really didn't have a great reason. I could see the look on his face shift to amusement, and I glowered at him. "Oh shut up," I muttered, grabbing him by the hair and pulling him down to me for another kiss.

He was having none of it. He flipped me onto my back and hovered over me. "Can I take that as a 'Yes, Dean – you are so right, my love. Ravish me.'?"

I tried to keep a straight face in the wake of this absurdity, but the small smirk on his lips made it impossible, and I started laughing as I lectured him. "I'm conceding here, the least you can do is go with it and not make fun of me."

"Baby, I'd never make fun of you," he murmured, bending down and kissing my neck. I immediately forgot what I'd been saying. "Not even when you're being a hard-headed fool." He lightly kissed my nose, and I lightly punched him in the gut.

We tussled for a few minutes, both of us laughing quietly, before I pulled him down and kissed him passionately.

That changed the mood of our morning considerably.

Within a few minutes, I found myself entirely naked and cradled in Dean's arms. His hand slipped down between my thighs and he began rubbing me, while I reached to do the same for him. He wasn't having any issues this morning, I was pleased to note.

Finally, he gently nudged me so I lay on my back again and knelt between my thighs. He teased me for a few minutes, refusing to let me touch him while his fingers kept up their delicious motions and his mouth lightly sucked at my nipples.

Suddenly, he buried himself inside of me. I closed my eyes, moaning quietly at the sensation. He sighed with what sounded almost like relief, before murmuring "I'm home."

I expected him to be as rough and passionate as he usually was, but he moved slowly this morning. We slipped into an easy rhythm, our hands lightly stroking over each other and our lips barely coming apart.

After I'd had my orgasm, he wrapped his hand in my hair and thrust only slightly more forcefully, his breath coming in small pants. "I love you, Lizzy," he murmured next to my ear. "I love you so much."

I nuzzled him with my nose. "I love you," I replied softly, bringing my mouth to his.

It only took him a few more thrusts to have his own orgasm, after which he collapsed on top of me, breathing heavily. It took him a minute to slide away from me, kissing me sweetly before he did.

He pulled me into his arms and we lay there for a few moments, trying to catch our respective breaths.

"Did we just make love?" He finally asked, his fingers tracing a pattern on my shoulder.

"I think we did," I confirmed.

"Hm," he replied.

"What did you think?" I asked, running my fingers over his chest lazily.

"It was different. I liked it. We could do that every now and again."

I laughed. "Only every now and again?"

I could feel him nod. "Most of the time, I'm not going to want to take it that slow. Your orgasm wasn't as intense as usual. I like making you come so hard you can't use your legs for a few minutes afterwards."

I managed a smile against his chest. "Making love is different in that it's not just about coming. It's about feeling close and connected to the person you're with."

He used two fingers under my chin to bring my gaze up to him. "Do you feel close and connected to me?" I nodded. "Do you really love me?" I swallowed hard before I nodded, noting the small smirk that came on his face when I responded.

"Dear Christ, that took you long enough," he muttered, pulling me towards him for a kiss.


	7. Chapter 7

One kiss had led to another, and it eventually led us into the shower for more sex. He didn't want to make love this time, and true to his word he had to hold me up for a few minutes after he made me come.

We finished cleaning off, my legs still shaky, and he insisted on feeding me before I went home.

The change in him was astonishing. He seemed more at ease than I'd ever seen him, and he constantly had a smile on his face. It was a very small smile, but it was a smile none-the-less.

I actually felt good about my decision. That might have been a first for this whole situation.

We went out to breakfast and acted like any normal couple in love did – we held hands at the table, laughed at each other's' stupid jokes, and couldn't take our eyes off of one another. I was actually reluctant to leave when the time came for us to separate.

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me on the forehead. "Come home soon," he said in a low voice. "I won't be able to stand being away from you for long."

I nuzzled into his shoulder, not at all willing to let him go. "I will," I promised.

He pulled back from me a little bit and looked down at me thoughtfully. "Are you happy?"

I managed to smile at him. "I am," I admitted. "I didn't expect it, but I am. Are you?"

"I think I am," he said slowly. "I have you. It feels good."

I laughed. "You make it sound like you've never been happy."

He stared at me for a minute, and I realized that I'd hit the nail on the head. I opened my mouth to express my incredulity, but he bent forward and kissed me again to cut me off. "Leave it alone," he murmured in my ear as he pulled away. "Just enjoy it."

Wisely, I heeded his words and simply kissed him again. "Please be safe on the road."

"Absolutely not," he teased. "I'm going to be reckless and stupid."

"Par for the course, then," I replied, lightly tapping my fist against his head. "You and your big thick skull are going to get in trouble one day."

"We already have," he replied dryly, bending down and kissing me again. "You're nothing but trouble for me, Lizzy."

"You love it," I challenged. "Or you wouldn't have tried so hard."

"You're finally getting it."

I wasn't sure why his mood had changed so abruptly from fun and playful to seeming slightly angry, but I elected to, as he had suggested, 'leave it alone' and get home.

We said our goodbyes, not lingering much longer, and he watched me drive away with an unreadable expression on his face.

I went home and slept, waking up a few hours later to several text messages and three missed calls.

I scrolled through the messages quickly – variations on things like 'I miss you,' 'Where are you?' and 'Is everything ok?' In my half-awake state, I felt my heart pick up its pace a little bit. This wasn't a good sign.

I called him back immediately and explained I'd fallen asleep. He seemed agitated, but ultimately didn't give me too much grief. We talked for a few minutes before he had to go.

I tried to go about my day and not think about it too much. Dean was making himself vulnerable for the first time. He was going to be nervous and jumpy at first, but he'd settle into things in short order.

At least, that's what I told myself.


	8. Chapter 8

'Can't sleep without you. Come home.'

I stared at this text message for a while when I woke up the following morning. It had been sent at the ungodly time of 4:17.

I was torn. Part of me knew that it was just the way Dean was. He'd been like this even when we weren't dating. But another part of me was a bit unnerved by his intensity and persistence.

I finally told myself to stop being an ass. Things were bound to be intense at the beginning of any relationship, and in spite of what we'd already shared – this truly was the beginning of our relationship.

I sighed and made a phone call I'd been dreading.

"Liz," Paul said when he picked up. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I'm ready to come back," I said without preamble.

"We're in Binghamton tonight," he replied immediately. "When can you get here?"

"I can be there by the time the show starts."

"Fantastic." He paused. "It'll be good to see you."

"Thanks. See you tonight."

I hung up and went about packing, finally pausing to text Dean on my way out the door. 'What hotel are we staying at in Binghamton?'

He called me just as I started the car, asking if I was serious. I confirmed that I was, and his elation at the news made me smile. I realized that I'd more than likely done the right thing in telling myself to relax. Dean was Dean. I was used to him; I knew him – and he wasn't going to magically morph because we were in a relationship. He was still who he was, and I loved him.

That had been a terrifying realization. I loved him. This man, who had hurt me beyond reason, was nestled in my heart in a way that I didn't even fully comprehend yet.

The fine messes we get ourselves into.

My drive was uneventful, and when I arrived to work it was almost like I'd never left. Everything flowed together seamlessly. People seemed pleased to see me, including Seth and Roman, whom I promised the night out.

When Dean arrived, he made a beeline for me. In front of God and everyone, he pulled me to him and gave me an incredibly intense kiss. The atmosphere in the room was immediately uncomfortable, until someone – I think it was Roman, God bless him – gave us a wolf whistle. That eased the tension a bit, and we all went about our night.

Dean came back to me after his match, sweaty and panting, and dragged me away from everyone. He kissed me hard and pulled me into his arms.

"Thank you for coming back," he finally said.

"I didn't just do it for you, but you're welcome."

He grinned down at me. "I can't wait to sleep next to you tonight. And the night after. And the night after that. And every night for the rest of my life."

I laughed, standing on my toes to kiss him. "Slow down, you. Let's take it one night at a time."

His eyes flashed angrily and his grip tightened on me just a little bit before he let me go completely, backing away. "You're right," he said smoothly, although I noticed his fists clenching and unclenching without his conscious notice.

I felt an odd lump forming in my throat. Noticing where I was looking, he glanced down and immediately relaxed his hands. I met his eyes briefly before he mumbled an excuse about showering and left quickly.

The gnawing feeling of worry in the pit of my stomach grew stronger.


	9. Chapter 9

I'd been back for three weeks when Dean started pulling away from me.

Things had been running relatively smoothly, both at work and behind the scenes. Dean was still just as intense as ever, but I'd grown used to him and his moods. In truth, he'd also settled slightly when it became apparent that I had no intentions of going anywhere. We still fought bitterly on occasion, but we always found a way to work through it and have fantastic make-up sex.

Roman and more so Seth slowly began to come around on the idea of Dean and I together. I think this was helped by the fact that I was quite obviously happy. Dean also wasn't being incredibly overbearing about me spending time with them without him, and his permissiveness surprised both of them in a good way.

After that third week, things started to change. He became alternately more distant and then unbearably clingy, and his temper shot through the roof. For the first time since we'd started dating, I became afraid of what he would do.

I pulled back in response, unsure how to handle these violent swings. After he punched through a hotel wall in Charlotte because I'd fallen asleep before we could have sex, I packed my bags and stayed with Roman for the night.

When I woke up in the morning, my phone's battery was almost dead from the amount of activity that had happened while I was sleeping miserably. Six voicemails and twenty text messages, two of which were picture messages.

The pictures were particularly disturbing. The first was a hotel room that had been absolutely trashed. More holes in the walls, broken glass everywhere. The second was of Dean holding up his right hand, swollen and covered in blood with the caption – 'Do you see what you drive me to?'

I read through the text messages, unsurprised at the mixture of unbridled fury and pleas for my return. Ro stared at me through hooded eyes while I felt an old familiar fear rise up in my throat.

He hadn't changed, and he never would. He'd been on his best behavior for a while, but like he promised – he reverted back to his usual self. He couldn't help it; there was no other way he knew how to be.

I just wasn't sure I could deal with it any longer.

He caught up to me that night at the arena, his hand heavily wrapped and his eyes full of shame.

"Baby, I am so sorry," he murmured, pulling me to him and attempting to kiss me. I pulled back warily.

"I'm getting really tired of this," I said as gently as I could, trying desperately to not set him off as I detangled myself from his arms.

"I know," he sighed. "Look, there's something I need to tell you. It's…not going to be good."

I stared at him curiously. "What do you need to tell me?"

"He knocked me up," a voice said behind him. I peered around his shoulder to see Becky standing there, a triumphant grin on her face. "We're due in September."


	10. Sequel

Thanks, as always, for reading/reviewing/favoriting/following/PMing and now Tweeting to let me know your thoughts on this crazy ride.

The next part is up, entitled "Worlds Collide and Hearts Get Broken," and it will be a bit before the next can get started/posted - but I made this one a bit longer than usual, which I hope helps. :) I hope you enjoy!


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